UTTERLY ENTHUSED with zero expectations

Once upon a time there was some one named UTTERLY ENTHUSED. UTTERLY ENTHUSED was SO enthusiastic that his name was spelled in CAPITAL LETTERS.

UT as his friends called him was so easily able to zip zig zap and zag all over the place. He made it seem effortless to do a ton of different things all AT THE SAME TIME.

However, over time, UT found that the more stuff he enthusiastically took on, the more that he was spending time with a dude named Mr. Stress. Mr. Stress was a sort of mean guy that always seemed to hang around whenever UT was doing a ton of different things AT THE SAME TIME. Thus, no matter how cool all the things UT was so enthusiastic about, Mr. Stress would make sure that UTTERLY ENTHUSED didn't end up feelin so good.

Finn ally, UT ran away from MR.STRESS and became Utterly Enthused, he hit the road and began spelling his name with lowercase letters for a start.

He ran and ran in his very enthusiastic way of running and covered a whole lotta ground. Finally he realized he was running uphill, but he kept running. The land got steeper and steeper til he found he was running on narrow ridge tops with long large drops all around him.

Undeterred UT kept running. The air was nice up here and there was not much else to do but run, which he was still doing in an enthusiastic manner. HOWEVER, as he reached the top of a very high mountain at the end of a range, he looked around and realized that there was NO MR. STRESS here!!!

"WOW" UT thought "What a fucking trip!"

He looked over the edge of the cliff and saw a zip-line that zizzled off into the fog in the valley below. There was a sign next to it that said..
.

he noticed that in very small letters at the bottom of the sign it said ...but since you are probably too chickenshit to use the zip-line of doom, I bet you will just go back to the way you came...

"WOAH" thought UT , reaching out for the handle of the zip-line "I am not going back to the way I came!" He let out a Hooooodlllleeeeehooooooooooooooooooo as he undid the brake on the zip line and then HE zizzled off into the fog.

The fog was deep and shrouded as fog is fond of being. It licked his face clean of all the remnants of stress, like a large, vaporous, friendly dog. He opened his mouth wide and gulped down great droughts of pure clean enthusiasm which filled him up to his core.

Then the line started to level off and then head up hill. His zizzering slowed to a zazz as he began to climb up the line with the momentum from his journey down. Soon he slowed to a zeuss and at last heard a small "CLICK" as the zip-line released, dropping him into the void below.

While it would be fun to say he bravely plummeted into the thousand foot drop at this juncture of our tale, what really happened was two things:
1-he peed his sarong
2-he hit the water after only about 80 feet or so, still a prodigious drop but not too much more than enough to send his peed on sarong up around his face which just added to the whole sense of loss of self that the zipzizzerzazzzeuss line was designed for

A big net picked Utterly Enthused out of the water.

As soon as he hit the air he let out a large WHOOP of exultation!

"THAT WAS KILLER!" echoed through the large stone roofless cavern he has been deposited in. He could see the thread of the ZZZZ-line above his head.

The net took him over to a cave where there was a fire.

Standing next to the fire was a wild looking woman. She had many colored hair and her eyes also seemed to change color somehow.

"WOW it actually WORKED!" she cried with glee as the net deposited UT onto the floor of the cave at her feet!

She took his hand and without another word led him over to a hole in the wall. She walked him into the hole which was a dark, dank, narrow, scratchy, unpolite, kick you in the shins kinda hole in a wall.

"What the?" UT stammered

"SHHHHHHHHHH" she replied pulling him deeper into the cave.

The walls were too narrow to move but somehow they moved forward into the earth together...The slime was on UT's skin and for once in his life he was NOT enthusiastic about what he was doing. He wanted to stop, to go backwards even, retreating into that which came before, a place he knew would be more comfortable. The warm firm pressure of the womans hand around his reassured him, drew him along. He felt feather light and discovered a warm, positive place inside him that dissolved his feelings of angst.

With a POP they were out and into the most amazing place UT had ever seen.. Every manner of crystal lined the cavern they had entered. Holes in the roof let in large beams of sun in various places and they lit up the crystals in a symphony of light.

She turned to him. Looked him right in his wide eyes and said
"zero expectations"

***********************
Now they travel everywhere 
They monkey all around
No matter where they go together
Mr. Stress is not to be found...

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